The Boondocks of Oman

Last weekend we headed to the Omani peninsula for a little rest and relaxation. Mission accomplished-it was a great time.

Highlight: Meeting the two guys who owned the goat farm outside of the peninsula. One was studying business law at the University of Sharjah and returned to his home in Oman on the weekends.

Lowlight: Getting unidentifiable bites all over my legs when waking up at the Khasab Hotel. I’ll stop there.

Highlight: Getting a few glimpses of what I have dubbed the “Arabian Dolphins” on our trip. Hearing our tour guide, Muhammad, thank us at least forty-five times by the time we left the boat.

Highlight: Listening to German children talk. Loving them.

Lowlight: The brutality of eating at a local restaurant in Oman. Wondering once again from what wild and angry beast mutton originates.

Highlight: White Russians at the local Golden Tulip Hotel and sitting and watching the Gulf of Oman crashing on the black rocks. Thinking deep thoughts and generally being a tortured soul.

Highlight: Meeting a bunch of random guys from Oman and using their dishdashas to review the Arabic words for different colors. Oh dishdash, never gets old.

Lowlight: Having to attend bi-weekly therapy sessions after seeing my travel-mates Eric and Dan in Omani pajamas. Never again, not even in jest.

Dinner with the Sheikh

Again, I’m not sure how we pulled this off, but we got to have dinner with one of the Sheiks of Dubai called Sheikh Ahmed al-Maktoum. He is a friend of a friend at the American University here. You should know that he won a gold medal for marksmanship and was the first Olympian from the Emirates. He is also a very talented squash player. Dan, thank you again for taking one for the team, it was well worth it. We were entertained outside the palace as it is considered inappropriate to have young men and women in the family compound. We entered a big matted tent with the floor covered in Persian carpets. So beautiful. His staff set up a bunch of delicate white cups to serve us coffee. He poured tiny cups for us one by one and kept re-filling us up until we “shook the cup” which is a sign that we are satisfied. After this he served us a huge dinner of baby lamb, stew, rice, bread, chicken, vegetables, and caramel. So good.

Lowlight: sinking in the sand of the tent with leather shoes. Poor fashion choice in Dubai generally.

Highlight: Sitting on the Persian carpets and talking with Ahmed about how he learned to shoot before he became an Olympic marksman. He told us a few stories about how many of his family members he accidentally shot as a child (they weren’t hurt apparently) when he was just learning. We couldn’t get over how down to earth and incredibly gracious he was.

Highlight: Seeing my friend Eric (remember, the chef) effortlessly splitting open the head of the baby lamb which happened to be right in the pot with the rest of his fried and buttered body. Eric really wanted to eat the brain and Ahmed had no objections.

Lowlight: Having to eat the baby lamb’s brain myself. Creamy.

Highlight: Ahmed bought us marshmallows since he knew that we roasted them by the fire in America. We couldn’t get over how thoughtful this was especially considering marshmallows contain pork which obviously Muslims can’t eat. I told Ahmed about how little boys in America completely burn their marshmallow because they get impatient for it to cook. He told me to show him how they do it and I proceeded to eat the sooty thing after. Yummm. Nice moment.

Lowlight: Trying to speak Arabic with Ahmed and getting too shy. His English was beautiful though.

Highlight: Meeting Ahmed’s falcon named, Nunu. I think (although not sure about this one) that most of the royalty have their own falcons. I think it might be a sign of masculinity or something, but I have to say I’m not really sure about this one. All I know is training them is considered an art and these men just love their birds. We had fun playing with Nunu who was Ahmed’s favorite.

Lowlight: imagining getting my eyes gauged out by Nunu.

Highlight: Discussing Ahmed’s competitions in the US and what he thought of Texas and living in Arizona. I could save that story for personal emails.

Highlight: Going to drink at the hotel bar post-sheikh dinner and suddenly seeing him on TV getting interviewed on his Olympic gold metal. What a guy. What a night.

Fujeirah Follies: Everyday is a Holiday

So we spent the weekend in another Emirate east of Dubai called Fujeirah. It’s a popular little hangout for both ex-pats, Emiratis, and Russians galore. All menus and signs are in English, Arabic, and Russian. This was the first time we saw something like this. It took about two hours to get the “Sandy Beach Motel.” They called this place five stars but I’m not quite sure how “motel” and “five stars” go together, but hey, alhamdulile. We had a fantastic time, here are some snapshots from our little excursion.

Lowlight: Getting caught sneaking into a small hotel room in the middle of the night. Literally, it was pitch dark. I have no idea how these little munchkins saw us steal away into the nastiest hotel room of all time. But they did and proceeded to call Dan and ask him if his “lady friends plan on spending the night.” No, Lola and Shaniqua will leave the building, thanks.

Highlight: Seeing a man use a tennis racquet full of electrodes to kill flies one by one in the restaurant we had dinner. He clearly left the door open to let the little oblivious suckers in and then swatted them to fly heaven one by one.

Highlight: Meeting our Emirati friends Darwish and Yousef (see photo). Darwish is a police officer in Dubai and decided to give me a pair of golden shoes. They were size 11 and I put them on in the hotel bar, scuttled across the floor, and thanked him…profusely. Why he had a pair of golden Pakistani shoes chilling out in his bag is beyond me. At this point I’m finding that kind of questioning useless around here anyway.

Highlight: Because Dan Smooth-talking Lord had a word with the manager, we got moved to a nice little chalet just off the beach. Getting to watch Moroccan TV.

Lowlight: Seeing that the Russian women at the resort were wearing thongs…and here I can’t even leave the campus with something that exposes my back. And that back-flesh, ooooo back-flesh, what a turn on. Check out the pic of the Russians with their wooden guns. I have no idea why this guy is rockin the dishdash.

Highlight: Seeing local women swim with their gorgeous little babies in the ocean in their abayas. See picture.

Highlight: Going to the twentieth floor of Le Meridien Hotel and seeing “Big Joe” play keyboard all night. When he finished his set we offered to buy him a drink and asked him where he was from. This big black (later we found out Tanzanian) man slurred, “Chhhhina.” Oh how dare you. Not to mention he was harder to understand than Dave Matthews between sets. Maybe even harder to understand than my brother's email from Amsterdam...I don't know. I felt like I was reading a Faulkner novel when he would introduce a Stevie Wonder song. We prayed for a rendition of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love”….but the stars weren’t aligned nearly as well as the dozen or so drinks this guy probably had before hitting the stage.

Highlight/Lowlight: Finding out mid-conversation that my friends Dan and Eric thought it would be funny to tell a man I was speaking with at the bar that I was a prostitute. This explained his smirk/uncomfortable manner when we were chatting. Once Cari whispered this to me (see photo) I repeated to him over and over in Arabic uncontrollably, “I’m a student! I study at a University! I study! I study! I promise!”

Highlight/Lowlight: Once again, our sneaky little travel partners thought it would be funny (after making sweet love to a wild dog we call Ismee) to bring the dingo into our room at 4:30 in the morning and let her see the inside of the one of the nicer establishments of the hotel. And proceed to talk about the logistics of taking her back to the states in their drunken stupor for another hour.

Lowlight: wondering if I had rabies at the end of the trip due to Ismee’s slobber.

Highlight: No longer getting “white girl looks” from the locals now that I’m tan. Money.

Down and Dirrrrrty

Well I can finally get photos up which is a plus. I'll try to put a few more in so you all can get some glimpses of the motherland. Planning on heading to Oman this weekend since we get Wednesday off (Thursday and Fridays are weekends here, by the way). The plan is to sleep and eat at the beach for a few days...which is fine with me. I've had my fill of touring and "oooh-ing and awww-ing" for the next few days. We're lucky to have Oman so close. Also looking into Beirut. We'll see.

Highlight: Trying to explain to the taxi driver that we wanted to go to a knock-off market called “Karame” on Friday. He clearly didn’t understand and my roommate who barely speaks English (but improving rapidly) leaned in close to him and said, “you know…..karame…..Gucci….Prada…go!” Priceless, and this is why I love her.

Lowlight: Having to actually learn how to serve a tennis ball. I don't think there is a physical action that could make me look more awkward/brutal.

Highlight: Beers with my traveling companions at the nearby Radisson. Cari's story about how she "took one for the team" and Eric's moment of freedom. Party on, playas.

Lowlight: Getting a text message that said, "I want to be Oman you." You know who you are, and you should be ashamed.

Highlight: After living with my roommate for three weeks we are finally understanding each other. She has learned a few phrases in no time flat: "how dare you", "the water is boiling", "you look hot, go get 'em", and last but not least, she has learned how to call me a bastard on the tennis court, which I thoroughly enjoy.

Lowlight: Finding out when I went into the separate pork area of the grocery store (no pig for Muslims) that marshmallows actually contain pieces of our curly-tailed friend. S'mores will never be the same.

That's it for now, kisses to the kids.

Zain: Making a House a Home in Dubai

OK, won’t lie, I’ve got a few stories and I wish I could be there in person to tell them. Blog will have to do. It’s been a good/long week with classes getting more serious and the feeling finally setting in that I’m “really here.” We’ve had some cases of homesick pangs within the group, but I think everyone will be fine. And if they weren’t fine after our outing last night, I don’t know what will do it...God bless Dubai nightlife, each and every one.

Highlight: Shisha at the pier with Iranian friends. The stuff was a little more powerful than good old Prince Café in Gtown. I even learned that handing the nozzle to someone in a certain way is considered a come-on. Needless to say I handed it provocatively to Cari Mailloux multiple times…and she loved every moment of it. Respect.

Lowlight: During roll call in Art History class, my teacher, Mr. Bardo (pure Lebanese blood, baby) had a little commentary about my name. He was going through the list and before me was Muhammad Abulileshia (something like that) and he said, “wow, what a beautiful name, it sounds so musical.” And then he came to me, “Christen Decker. Wow, that’s a bland name.” God, thanks. Sorry we didn’t keep the original more exotified name, it’s called Ellis Island, you monster.

Highlight: Seeing the inside of the old Jumeirah Mosque. We all had to cover our heads before we went in. I’ve never seen the inside of a mosque so it was a pretty special experience. About 200 visitors were allowed to watch this one man pray. It felt a little like a zoo, to be honest, and this poor Muslim man was behind the glass. But I think for people to become more educated about other religious practices is important, especially Islam, so maybe this is the best way to do it.

Lowlight: Getting hit on in the Carrefore grocery line. Who hits on women when they’re getting vegetables? An Iranian businessman who will remain nameless, that’s who. He handed me this phony business card and was like, “sooooo, I’m in town for about four more hours before I head back to Iran, are you free?” Yeah ok, buddy, that’s classy.

Highlight: Drinking a cosmo in the Radisson Hotel and hearing my friend Ari lecture us on “female structural analysis” and his recent fieldwork with a German girlfriend. He should get his findings published one day, really, the guy is brilliant. My favorite part was when he described staring into her big dark eyes and saying, “I could look into those pupils and see what forever looks like.” Brutal babe, chicks from every nation know that line.

Lowlight: Finding a roach in the refrigerator. I pinned him down and screamed, “to whom do you report?” But he wouldn’t tell me where his tribe slept, somewhere in the walls I think. Those little barbarians are all over our kitchen.

Highlight: Being approached by an old Kuwaiti man outside of a club with my friend Danielle. He wouldn’t leave us alone until I said, “I am a baby, just twenty years old” (in Arabic).

And of course (where else would this happen??) he said, “funny, my wife is twenty too! And there she is!” Lo and behold his quiet wife was about three feet away witnessing the whole thing. I was so embarrassed by him that I went over to her and said (God, I am so numb sometimes), “wow, you’re twenty too? That makes us comrades!” Danielle was doubled over in laughter and the wife clearly did not understand.

“I don’t speak English,” she mumbled. “I’m Russian.”

Holy shit, I thought. This is not a good situation, and this is definitely not his wife. End of story.

Lowlight: Being told I look seventeen years old again. Keep your opinions to yourself, kids.

Highlight: Beaching it with Cari and Maria today and watching grown men covering themselves with sand at the shore. Not to mention all those speedos, yikes, I thought that plague had been quarantined in Europe.

So that’s pretty much been the news around here. I finally have my address so you all can send me flowers, candy, incriminating photos etc :

Christen Decker
American University in Dubai
P.O. Box 28282
Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Some of you said you couldn't get to the photos last time, here's the link again:

http://community.webshots.com/user/carimay57

Signing off, chickadees. Salaam.

Dishdasha what wha: Making the Dream Happen

Well, kids, I’ve arrived. That’s right, the United Arab Emirates, in the live. I’ve been here about a week, which has perhaps been one of the most thrilling of my life.

Rather than go day by day let’s just discuss a few highlights and lowlights. Highlights: seeing the ski-slope in the Emirates Mall. I couldn’t believe this monstrous thing. Imagine: shopping for a few hours, perhaps you’ve had lunch, maybe bought a pair of Levis and then you….go for a run down the local slope? I have to say, I almost lost my cool when I saw all these local families putting on ski pants and helmets over abayas and dishdashas. It was quite a sight. But why would I expect less? We’re in Dubai and here, as my friend Sara Sharaf says, “anything is possible!” And what’s scary…is she’s right.

Another highlight: performing a version of the electric slide at the local Irish pub in front of the locals. Also, getting to sing along to "Do you really want to hurt me?" by the Culture Club. God bless Boy George and his visionary music.

Lowlight: being laid up in the bathroom all night after food poisoning. I had a lot of life-changing epiphanies on my stone cold, bare, bathroom tiles. Turns out I was working off a fever all night. A lava lava lava out-of-body experience(some of you will get this joke) you might say.

Lowlight: Being told by a snobby seventeen year old at school that I look "so young!" for my age. OK, babygirl, get your pacifier and go back to high school.

Highlight: just a few days ago I visited the Gold Souq (market, see photo). Store after store after store of beautiful yellowy gold and diamonds. My friend Sara could bargain like a champ…she walked into stores and would yell out some ridiculously low price for a piece of jewelry of a competitor and ask if the store owner could match it. I was impressed. Shopping is nothing less than spectacular here, and the women treat it like a contact sport…we’re talking Emirati rugby, no pads, just passion.

The dress here is more traditional than I anticipated. Almost all of the locals wear full abaya and sheila and men wear dishdashas and a head covering. I’m told more Emiratis started doing this as the area became increasingly commercialized and they wanted to show some kind of local identity. I’ve even met non-Muslims who wear this type of dress. It’s really quite beautiful, though, I didn’t expect to find it that way. Women especially find ways of distinguishing their black dress from the others by getting the backs embroidered with something like black beads or colorful stitching. These outfits are kept immaculate. Since I’ve been here I have not seen one dishdasha that didn’t look freshly pressed and bleached. Makes me feel a little like a slob….speaking of that I think they find my dress a little funny here. More than once I’ve caught some of the local girls sharing a little giggle at my expense. I didn’t quite think I’d be dealing with that post-5^th grade but hey, when in Rome…. Just kidding, I didn’t make fun of them back but I was pretty tempted. I have to say, I didn’t think girls in abayas and sheilas were going to be the ones to be pointing and laughing at me but that probably has more to do with my ignorance than anything else.

Welcome to Dubai, everyone looks good, so get in the game. I don’t think I’ll be sporting this dress anytime soon but I have been more careful about dressing up. Within the American University in Dubai, students have their own very distinct style which plays on local dress. The local girls wear local dress but compliment it with gorgeous designers bags. More than once, I’ve spotted a few Fendi, Givenchy, Prada, and Dior birds on the arms of local ladies. The shoes are equally spectacular and colorful. The local boys wear the white dishdasha and trucker hats, usually Von Dutch and keep their high tech cell phones especially close. Almost everyone here communicates through text message rather than voice. Makes you feel like you’re constantly on IM. They even send pictures to through phones to prove a point. Example: want to go for coffee? (and if you were illiterate, there’s a picture of a steaming coffee cup! Bam)

Lots more to tell, but I’ll leave you with that for now so you don’t get a headache from reading. You can check out some of the pics from our travels courtesy of my partner-in-crime Cari Mailloux's webshots: http://community.webshots.com/user/carimay57
Oh, and if you have Skype, my name is christenlanedecker on that. No address yet.

Miss you all, you know who you are. Sending good/exotic vibes from the UA of E.